He talks about the breakup all the time and now seems upset that I am doing ok. After that I sent him a few texts that I still miss him and if we could meet, but still no reply.. he didnt really said he wanted to break up he just said, I dont want to talk to you and I want more then just space. My ex does most of these things and he broke up with me 3 months ago (mostly due to my negativity and recent stress/unsupportiveness/attitude towards him, but him realizing he had feelings for another girl still was the final straw I guess). When I had my breakdown, he was right there for me. But now Im confused. I might still had a chance but I ruined it by talking about getting back together when he specifically asked me not to do it. One of the more obvious signs your ex still loves you is that they stay in touch with you. There isnt much emotional charge when it comes to their ex. When I work with clients who want to save their relationship, they are usually completely against dating anyone new. He has told me he loves me a couple of times. Their answers were pretty surprising, TBH. He told me its hard to see me and not wanna hold me and love on me. When we first met we know we were meant for each other, we were in extreme happiness and we plan for our future together. While you may not have any immediate friends or family who have gone through a relationship break, there's always Reddit. You shut them down. waw Seatle, I just left the exact same kind of man. We were together for 3 years, He said he wanted to be single as he's never been one for going out with his mates. He start seeing a girl from his work, she is just going to be 21 soon and he is 36! We were together for almost 3 years, Im 27, hes 32. He said he needed a break, but a week later he message me saying he was burnt out from the relationship and call it a stop. Here are some key signs your ex still loves you that I look for when I help people save their relationships. The plan was he was supposed to come to sc, we pack up my car and the kids, drive down to Florida, go to her gradution, leave there and go to his dads house which is 2 hours away, get his stuff, and then keep going west. Dont give in no matter what. His wife doesnt have facebook anymore. He is now in a relationship and in 2 weeks she lives with him. Im currently friends with 4 of 5 of my exes, but Brendan is someone I cant see myself dating again, it takes high maturity to be friends with your ex. Looking for advice i suppose, can a man carry a torch for his first longterm girlfriend years after it ended? 6. They might also feel weird about dating someone because they are holding out hope for your relationship. In practice, trying to stay friends with your ex (when you still want them) is painful, since it keeps reopening the wound you are trying to heal and move on from. A Redditor whose partner was asking to take a break reached out to the online community for advice. Of course, some people can get lucky, and their ex can come back after realizing the error of his ways, but for most of our clients, thats not what happens. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. We have always enjoyed spending our time together. if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'lawyersnlaws_com-medrectangle-1','ezslot_6',177,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-lawyersnlaws_com-medrectangle-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'lawyersnlaws_com-medrectangle-1','ezslot_7',177,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-lawyersnlaws_com-medrectangle-1-0_1'); .medrectangle-1-multi-177{border:none !important;display:block !important;float:none !important;line-height:0px;margin-bottom:7px !important;margin-left:auto !important;margin-right:auto !important;margin-top:7px !important;max-width:100% !important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center !important;}, You may be with someone else, but contact with the ex, Most people do that for the betterment of the child, ex was upset if the other denied being friends after the breakup, we might break up but remain in contact with each other, same house or apartment we lived in together, fear the emotional pain of a breakup, especially if it was the first love, Even after a breakup, its still possible to tell if a guy loves, 11 Reasons as to Why I Miss Her So Much but She Doesnt Care, Ex Upset I Dont Want to be Friends: 12 Reasons Ex Gets Mad, Can I Call CPS for Parental Alienation? I told him I needed to know if I should move on and leave out of state with my family. Can we still be friends? is one of those normal things that people say when they choose to breakup but in reality, this is not something you should cling to as a definite sign either way. Refusing to move on and date new people is a key sign your ex is waiting for you. I feel like I lost my best friend. But i also know i could get hurt if i assume but what option do i have ? We might continue to act like we are a couple even after we have broken up because we want to protect our memories. I dont deserve him.. yet i treated him worse than chris and he considers me his good friend? Later, I found out for certain that he still loved me, but when he initially broke up with me and told me it was over he was hurting and angry and a whole bunch of other emotions that took him a lot of time to process. and he brought her to his apartment to spend the day together just 2 days after I left. I tell him to stop yelling at me and talk to me like an adult (which pisses him off even more) and he kicks me out of his house around 1 am. These People Took Online Dating Off The Apps & Out Of The DMs, 17 Elite Daily Readers Share Their Low-Key Dating App Icks, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. READ THIS My ex has issues but I still want to get back together I dont know if he still seeing this girl outside work as 3 days ago he say he will stop and told her alreadybut as Im not with him I dont know also she is so young and I think using him not to be alone as first time in her life living alone think not much friends Please help me I do anything and pay anything just not sure about this no contact towards him if something else is possible than that will be great. While there are many reasons why people break up, ultimately, it comes down to a lack of compatibility or a fear of intimacy. Im ready to make a decision but i need to make sure its worth it! He doesnt talk about her except Ive asked and he says it is about to be done. Its been 3 years and my ex occasionally contacts me out of nowhere saying that he cares about me and wants to stay in touch be friends its annoying because every time he does it I hate him more and more for it we end up saying very mean things to each other its not healthy its very hard also because he was my first .. love. But how can you tell if there's a chance you might be able to or should try to rekindle things with your ex in the future? He used to talk about her CONSTANTLY until I threatened to end our relationship because I was sick of hearing about this Woman. Why You Shouldnt, 10 Signs Your Ex is Turning Your Child Against You to Alienate, Can DCF Take My Child without a Court Order? However, these buried feelings dont always mean they want to put the relationship back together just that they still have feelings about the whole thing. At the moment Im doing NC, just for self preservation and to help me move forward. Leaving was tough but a relief. Mostly downs. I know his feeling are true about me. I dont want to confuse guilt for possibilities. And that sucks so badly I want to through up. As long as the conversations are consistently long and involved, youre good. If your ex keeps replying to you with words like cool or Thats awesome, what are you supposed to do with it? 16. Even though I genuinely enjoyed his company the 3 times I met him, it was a dead giveaway that my ex was not ready to talk to me yet and had sent in his friend to see what I was up to. He says that he wants to work on himself etc. If your ex was a woman, this detail isnt as helpful for predicting whether your ex still loves you. He explained that he loves me more than anything and I make him happy and that I have done absolutely nothing wrong that Im perfect and an amazing girlfriend and everything he has ever wanted and so on. In cases like these, its only a matter of time before the cracks start to show and the relationship begins to unravel. When your ex doesnt move on with someone new it can be a sign that they still love you and hope youll get back together. But the thing is, he always offers to help me with financial even we never met each other, he helped me some money right after things went wrong. I dont know what to do now. My ex and i ended on bad terms he was leading me on and ended up dating someone in less than a few days after the break up, at first he liked all my instagram pictures but i stopped liking his pictures since the day we broke up cause he blocked me after leading me on and also unblocked me after that and now hes stopped liking all my pics too. 2. Theyre depressed and dont know what to do with themselves, so they start sharing sad stuff on social media to tell the whole world theyre not doing well. you have NO idea how everything you wrote resonates with what I have lived. 1. Is your ex stubbornly staying single in a quest to find themself? Hes all over the place, because he is confused with himself, his feelings and hes afraid to lose you, but on ther other hand he needs space to figure his life out. He is the love of my life and I just want my family back. The opposite of love is genuine indifference and apathy. But still I think something is there and also seeing at work We talked about getting back together and what brought us to be in this situation.he got kind of bored as working long hours and we live in 1 room, maybe he knows Im always here and we didnt take care about the relationship much I mean few last months he start to be more cold and distance and didnt tell me that something is wrong. One common reason is that they simply grow apart. Our mutual friend invited us out to a club a few days ago and when I showed up, he asked me how I was going. Because brendan has been respectfully upset at me while Chris didnt seem to care. My ex broke up with me last month after only dating for one month. I was at UNLV for a College Tour #class of 2018 & Brendan (older ex) graduated last year and attends there, when i told him how I was there, he tiptoed like oh haha how funny Im here too! For the vast majority (over 90 percent), this communication began within a couple of months of the breakup and continued . I would personally do the No Contact Rule for 30 days. He broke up with me about a month ago. Weve been friends for years but never dated. They could be trying to make you jealous or at least get your attention. she wasnt going to see us. Helping the children adjust even after their parents separation is essential. Well.. its hard to say with no real evidence, Sandra but breakups are unique like snowflakes. I tried ringing my daughter last week whilst she was out with him, and he picked the phone up and started asking me so many questions.its tiresome,however I feel Im being hijacked,because I know that whilst hes with my daughter I cant just put the phone downthat just sends out the wrong message.,and I love her so much. Hes marriage has just ended after he was cheated on, and he regrets not marrying me which I know is genuine. So, there are definitely risks to consider. My birthday is on October 16th, & his is the 22nd. Its been a month since the breakup and I feel lonely. For months after the breakup, I stayed up late nursing my broken heart, endlessly googling signs your ex still loves you and asking questions like does my ex still love me?, does my ex want me back?, signs your ex still loves you but is scared and more. . You need to put some work in for your ex to put you on a pedestal again! If theyre randomly calling you for a meetup after the no contact rule is over, I think you should go for it! He sends mixed signals and when I least expect it he congrats me like You should be proud! Theres no need to force things just enjoy being single and seeing where things go. He didnt block me or sorts. This is the most important thing for me right now so he could heal himself but still I want to get back together when hes better I dont even know if the NC rule applies here as we never lost contact (hes IMing me as I write this, after the whole day of no contact- he asks me if I feel well). Heres an insight into the male mind that might change your perception of men forever. Their father will try to turn them against me & him bcuz he feels as tho we messed around while him & i were still together. You looked so beautiful, you looked so confident, you made friends, you got so impressive in Reflection, you made me fall for you all over again We talk for a few weeks but then my pride leads the convo back to us and he veers away (yes I know this was wrong of me but was before I saw your site!). He constantly reassures me that I am the one he TRULY loves and wants to be with..but sometimes I see him staring in to the distance or listening to a particular love song..and I just KNOW that he is thinking of her. I just broke up with my first boyfriend. After we started making plans to move to California, everything was set. The more long, meaningful exchanges you have, the more likely it is that your breakup is not permanent. It has now been 1 week longer than Ive ever heard from him. a 2 yr old and a 1 yr old but he loves my lil girls just as much as i do. I date girls a lot younger than me, i have more free time, i feel more peaceful in life, i get to pursue my hobbies, i sleep better, and im better off financially. He doesnt get out till 2019. My ex husband was not ready for the real world consequences of leaving his marriage so he had been moving slowly. We've been together for over a year and I thought we would spend the rest of our lives together. Another reason is that the relationship may have started on shaky ground. Hes very honest no matter what. 10. Doing nothing right now is absolutely your best bet here, even though its literally the hardest thing. Breaks can be really clarifying if youre in a situation where youre unsure about your partner. I really do want to be with him but my ego is so fagile right now. This allows us to stay connected while we are apart and ensures we both understand our expectations of the relationship we once had. He was this shimmery, shiny, exuberant, happy, oblivious, at times loving, distracted, boundry-less individual I grew to love and hate. It could be because you want to keep the memories alive, or it could be that you both want to stay on the same page. I am still divided between beating myself up for not being able to be okay with that if thats who he is and hating him for being that way and hating myself for being to scared of how the loss of him would feel, how the loneliness would feel, how the break up would feel. I have to give up trying to understand him, us, the failure of it all. Most people do that for the betterment of the child. Rebound relationships usually include a lot of emotional venting, since the recently broken up person has not had a lot of time to process the breakup before meeting someone new and truly moving on. Its only been in the last month things seemed different and then 2 nights ago he broke up with me after telling me he feels trapped , as we had been spending a lot of time with Each other. I didnt text/call him after that. so much that he didnt have time to cheat even if he tried but hes not that type of guy. If there isnt a good reason, staying in touch with the people you love would be too painful or pointless for your ex to even bother with. Friends of his told him that I was asking for help with some texts I sent. If you find yourself in this situation, just take a step back and assess what youre looking for. This is a sign I see most of my clients going through. Fast forward to later that night, I was plastered drunk dancing with other guys, he was not drunk but was dancing with girls. He says that they have been split since early 2014. Exes often suggest being friends because simply downgrading your relationship seems safer than making a clean break. If the relationship is going to work in the future and both individuals are committed to moving forward, you'll both need to tackle the reasons for the breakup or separation. We had big communication issues, we couldnt manage argues well. Breaking Up Only Made Us Closer Once we had nothing left to lose, we were finally honest. My ex moved long distance, and we go through these phases of where Ill do no contact for 3-4 weeks and then he reaches out again. And like I just said, your exes reasons for getting in touch with you might seem weird, like texting about how they found your socks under the bed. Moreover, we may still act like a couple to avoid criticism or judgment from our family and friends. male mind that might change your perception, Your ex randomly calls you asking to meet up. ", If the relationship's issues are fixable, you both spent time apart fixing what was wrong with the relationship in the first place, Chances are if you've decided to go your separate ways, it was probably for a few reasons. This allows us to maintain some level of connection we once shared while we were a couple. I was furious. He has specifically told me that we are never going to get back together to later say that there might be a chance for it to happen. And I have tried to explain it. Around 4 am, were angrily texting each other. Let him see what being single is like and what life without you is like. You may still care for them deeply, but the decision has been made to go your separate ways. Can a relationship recover from a break, or can time apart really make your relationship stronger than it was before? 2016. However, it doesn't mean they want to get back together. Anyone have any advice? My boyfriend broke up with me around 5 months ago after over 4 years of relationship. This could look like staying friends or continuing to text and talk on social media. Even if you knew that the relationship was in trouble, you never actually thought that a breakup was possibleyour significant other loved you too much to leave. Ive been out of a 30 year relationship for about 8 years. Researchsuggests that people who maintain contact withtheir exes on social media are more likely to cause damage to their new relationships. Its a solid sign your ex still loves you when exes friends get in touch with you for no good reason. Even though I was heart broken, I accepted his decision, we agreed to be friends and he hugged me tightly before he left my house. Be the first to know what's trending, straight from Elite Daily. However, there are many things in your list that could give people false hope. Even after separating, the ex-couple will still need to communicate with each about addressing parenting issues. Fast forward to yesterday where I finally had a mental breakdown and apparently that was me finally letting him go. Then I find out he was with her this past weekend. Anger is a tricky emotion after a breakup since it usually masks sadness and hurt. Breakups aren't always permanent, and these signs are a great estimate to judge if your ex is regretting the breakup: He's investing a lot of time in you His responses are meaningful It's still within a year of your breakup Your ex randomly calls you asking to meet up Your ex isn't doing well without you Your ex is drooling over you from afar 7. It seems as though you see nothing but dead ends. It couldbe simply because your ex is a good person who still cares about you or it could also be a sign your ex still loves you, misses you and wants you back. He will miss you so much and he will realize what he has lost, how much he misses you andvhe will be back begging for you to forgive him and through this he will have grown up and he will see that you are a lot stronger than he ever thought you were and he wont do this ever again. You'll be surprised to know that while women tend to experience more severe and immediate pain after a breakup, men take a longer time to fully move on from it. So never take him for granted because now as a new adult, I still regret losing him. When we met i was married and so was he. Ultimately, the decision on whether or not to take a break in your relationship really depends on the reasons and the intention. 5 days is NOTHING in breakup time. Of course, they wont always be having three-hour chats with you, and they might even go away for a day or two. Honestly, the reactions weve seen are incredibly different. Im not sure if I should give it time or what. It suits me,but I know realistically I cant always ignore him. Im happily divorced but he is still married. He thought when he left I would be glad. Just dont respond at all after MAXIMUM, 11pm. They might also need to work together as a team to provide financial support and emotional stability for their children. He wants a family and kids and to live out west, travel, etc. He was of 2 men I fell for, the other lives in LA & we still talk. We want the same things and were going the same direction. Why is me being supportive of him talking to other girls so upsetting to him when he was the one who broke up with me and stated we needed to see other people? Hi Beth, the first thing you need to do is start with No Contact where you leave your ex alone for 30 days and let him live that life. We had a five years long relationship.There was this nominal fight which ended our relationship.He gave me different reasons every time i talked to him. 5. You might also act like you, and your ex is still a couple to stay connected with shared friends or to protect your feelings of hurt and loneliness after your breakup. Whether its worth it to you to try to get back together or spend time with him is likely a factor of whether YOU still want him and think a relationship could actually work. I just want to be able to hang out with my friends and not worry if hes going to freak out on me even when I try to distance myself from him. Brendan is worth the communication and if it werent for my mistakes at 16, wed be together again. They most likely want you to notice the changes and be proud of them. 8. My focus is always stopping my clients from doing those things, but the same thing applies to your ex. This could involve staying in touch and communicating regularly with each other, or it could mean setting ground rules around our interactions. Do they keep bringing up the breakup even when it doesnt make sense? Im so conflicted because some people say give him space and time and hell come around but I feel like the longer I wait the more I lose him. His mom called and even told me about his ex and how she was verbally abusive to him and how she never loved him and she was just using him for money. His words say he only wants to be best friends right now but his actions sometimes show he really cares about us, like he has feelings for me, and even still loves me, but hes fighting it. Sign up for notifications from Insider! In fact, some research suggests that it may be possible to stay in love even after breaking up. This is a pretty decent pattern disrupter/hook to get your ex engaged, but the usual response is What happened? Well, imagine your ex responds with: Actually, youre not gonna believe what happened to me.